With Christmas out of the way now and reality looming just around the corner, I wanted to take this opportunity to share some updates with you, not only to recap the ups and downs of 2019, but to outline the future of this blog (and how truly terrible UV nights can be!).
Reflecting on the Year
Something ridiculous, like over half of the population make New Year’s resolutions, and yet less than 10% of those people actually see them through. This is a rather disheartening fact of life, but as cliché as it is to say that this year will be different, I genuinely believe that. After all, no two really are the same! This year has been an odd one for me. It’s not exactly been great to say the least; it has been a bit of an unexpected shambles if I’m honest. This isn’t down to any one person, so much as a series of unprecedented and unchangeable events; sort of like this New Year’s Eve being UV themed. Who could have predicted or prevented it? No one, but I’m making the best of it now. This UV Ciate nail kit was gifted to me and looks absolutely gorgeous from the outside; perhaps these holographics represent the duality of life; a yin yang of good and bad – no happiness without suffering, as the holistically inclined like to say. I steer clear of such nonsense. What doesn’t kill you clearly make your nails look absolutely horrendous. I mean the streaky base coat yellow aside, who could have been prepared for an outcome such as this? I certainly wasn’t…
My health has had a massive impact on how this year has turned out. My dentist nightmare is a regular segment I never thought I would find myself pouring out all over the internet, but then again I never thought what I ate would pour out of the newly formed gap in my teeth, so there’s that. Needless to say I have been very out of sorts of late. On that note I’ve had to cut and cauterise a lot of negativity from my life, which although stressful at the time as there is no truly painless way to end relationships (like pulling a tooth, no?) it was much needed and I’m sure will see me through to some more positive long-term effects. Number one of which being the end to this nail kit. I mean, in theory it would work; it is all good from the outside, and once unpackaged the ugliness within isn’t’ immediately apparent. From the cotton buds you can see I have risen up to the challenge and tried to maintain the charade that this was working, but alas. Back into the pot you go, scattered hopes and dreams…
Like the glowing aura of this outfit there have been some silver linings to this quiet chaos. I have already spoken at length about how negatives can become positives over time, so although I’m not ‘grateful’ as such, I have made what I can do work to my advantage. With so many days dedicated to hospital appointments I set to documenting all of what had gone on. My memory does tend to fail me on this, as does the dentist’s, after all… Therefore, I have organised my ‘lost’ time in order to be lost no more, and instead more productive. I’ve tried things I wouldn’t usually have this year, blogging being the main one! I also managed to tick quite a few things off of my bucket list, namely graduating and getting my hands on a (not so affordable) second hand car, which I am blessed to still have in good nick, and the insurance payments will plummet in the new year dramatically, leaving me with more money to invest into the coming future.
With both my MSc and car keys in hand has come a lot more time to work on hobbies and explore other avenues and interests that I know I will see through long into the future, without being to cryptic, this includes a not-so-new goal and passion of mine which I will finally be able to grow into fruition! This new chapter in life has also meant that, although still busy, I have had more time to dedicate not just to personal achievements and growth but also down time with loved ones and the ever elusive ability to switch off. I think it is therefore safe to say that although a busy and particularly bizarre year, like me jotting this down while pulling together this outfit, next year will be one of new beginnings and plenty of goal setting. I look forward to what is yet to come!
New Year Goals
Part of why resolutions never seem to work is that they are too vague or just merely convey an over simplified feeling. To achieve a goal it must be set correctly; it has to be made actionable and be set in stone from the start. It also has to make sense and have meaning of course, so first and foremost I asked myself…
What matters to me most?
It is not big secret that I am passionate about writing and the projects that tangent off from the umbrella of academia, blogging and other such hobbies. It is almost as if by reflex I think of my identity and true lease for life as entwined into this. I do have a few bouts of existential dread on occasions however, usually when I am forced to endure another rerun of Tim Allen dressed as Santa clause, that I consider this questions accompanied by ‘what is this all for?’. I don’t want to look back on my life and be confronted by the sad reality that I am a business man who has neglected his children only to turn it all around at the last minute with help of a whimsical being. None of those things are a part of my reality, and for a long time neither were the loved ones overlooked in such flicks. I don’t want to take for granted the people who matter to me most, as although usually the first to think ‘my god people are the worst’, mine aren’t, and its great to be able to celebrate them in the new year (Starting with this night out no less!)
What do I want to achieve?
A nail polish that doesn’t resemble grit! In case you have been with me since the beginning, you will have noticed that much more of my twitter involves intersections with the writing community. This is not by some mere accident; in fact, I have actually been working on my first, of what I hope to be many, fantasy books!
What do I want to become?
An author and marketing mogul aside, I want to become more at peace, in both body and mind. Maybe this day-glo has gone to my head already! My health and peace of mind. As much as I usually establish writing as a priority, I simply must stop chasing the next thing and then the next. I may not do what I do for fame (and certainly not money!) but I do throw myself into projects whole heartedly. Although this might be one of my best traits, it comes with a double edged sword of workaholism that can leave other elements of myself and my social sphere behind. If this year has taught me anything, it’s that health and happiness are the most valuable things one can possess. I guess to be morbidly truthful I have never taken much care to either, not because I have taken them for granted, but because the notion of inner peace without being decidedly scriptuirent has always been an alien one to me. For the next year I want to cultivate a more balanced work/life, and regardless of what has happened this past year or what will happen tonight, that much is certainly within my remit. For now though, I am going to edit this word-spill, spray this diy UV pattern with setting spray, drink the last remnants of Christmas alcohol and dance the night away long into 2020! It’s going to be a good one.
What has your 2019 taught you? Do you have any hopes, resolutions, or plans for next year?
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